BeingAnOnly Workshops

An only child, by definition, does not grow up with other children in the immediate family, with whom s/he can compare, compete or share. With no peer witness inside the family, s/he can remain invisible to her/himself.

As an adult, the likelihood is you may still not have had the chance to meet with others who grew up as an only child.

Workshops offer a new and unique opportunity to swap notes with those most likely to understand - other onlies.

The Only Child & the Triangle of Jealousy
Jealousy is a powerful emotion that we all experience from time-to-time, and in a few cases we say that a person is consumed by it.

Jealousy is frequently confused with envy, although they often occur together. Simply put, I may envy what you have but I am jealous when you give your attention to someone else. In jealousy three people are involved, hence the triangle, and only children can be easily caught in such a dynamic and find it played out in situations beyond the family, and in later life.

In this workshop we identify and examine the effects of the primary triangle on us over the years and how we currently interact professionally and socially.

The Only Child | Separation & Loss
The significance of the relationship with a parent or parents for the only child is particularly strong.   The loss of one or both through death is a huge experience for most of us, irrespective of whether our relationship was harmonious or not.  

With the death of one, we may be challenged to become a surrogate partner, with the death of the last or only one, we are orphaned.   We can feel devastated, relieved, angry, sad, confused, lonely, or all of these.   Whatever our experiences, it will mean there is no one left with whom to share our immediate family history and, as we confront life alone, we face ourselves as individuals in a new way, perhaps for the first time.

If you are an adult only who has lost one or both parents, or are anticipating the loss of them, this facilitated workshop is for you. It is a chance to grieve, support and be supported by others in a similar situation.   It is an invitation to explore your future.

The Only Child | Relationships
Do you long for a deep, intense, close relationship with a partner and at the same time fear losing your independence?

Relationships. We want them. We don't want them. We have them anyway. For the only child, the power dynamic between a child and one parent or two is always intense and inevitably unequal. With the absence of siblings to offer a more varied and general experience of relating to others of the same generation, the only child is at a disadvantage when it comes to creating realistic expectations for adult relationships. Long distance love, getting caught up in triangles and staying in bad relationships for too long are all familiar stories as is unrequited longing - that elusive partnership that doesn't happen.

In this workshop, we offer an unusual opportunity to explore many of the things that happen in relationship in the company of other onlies - it may feel like a mini experience of having surrogate siblings.

In the safety of a small group, we can tell our stories and see how it is that we as onlies prefer to relate and where we feel challenged. How do we deal with fidelity, intimacy and the need for space, sharing and expression?

If you are interested in taking part in any of these workshops in the future, please get in touch at beinganonly@gmail.com